Episode 3 of 5
Did I Mention The Part About Your Brain?
3.1. Head Over Heels
KarenD is doomed. KarenD is going to live for ever. KarenD is doomed to live forever. KarenD is a recovering time travel abuser. She’s got versions of her self jumping all over the time stream. The current version is stuck in a recurrent 3-year time loop. She’s fated to experience the last three years of her life over and over again. Many of the Karens have called it quits. The ones that have gone cold turkey while in the current time-frame I know as Karens A through D. Well, “known” for the recently late KarenA.
I’m dimly aware that KarenD is doing quite the number on me. Dimly aware of her head bobbing. Dimly aware of her wet and ragged exhalations around my cock. But I can’t be bothered to give her my full attention. I have recently acquired infinite will power and I am infinitely indestractable. I’m working on a project that my will will not release me from until its completion. I toe-type furiously on my ShoeComputer while KarenD sucks me off. “I” attend to her efforts by setting up a simulation of myself in my frontal lobes to administer appropriately-timed “ooh”’s and “ahh”’s while my primary consciousness burrows a hole through a wall of increasingly intense foot cramps. I’ve got work to do.
On, I work. I’m working on. . .
I’m an ACRE = Auto-Cerebral-Re-Engineer. ACRE’s redo their own wiring to suit their tastes instead of letting their brain salads be tossed by the contingencies of nature and nurture. There are about as many kinds of ACREs as there are modifiable brain systems. Some peeps are addicted to certain emotions: for instance, the Amygdaloids are into TAAM = Total Anger Anti-Management. A few of the suicidal/stupid types go for the PFDS = Pleasure Fucker Death Scenario. Cranking their pleasure center to maximum output, they convulse in a ball of pure joy, not eating, not drinking, not responding to any stimulus besides their own neurochemically secreted happiness until they expire. Me, I’m a control freak. I’ve tweaked the executive control functions of my frontals to be able to run simulations of myself so that my primary consciousness can attend to a task without distraction.
On. I’m totally on. I’m working on. . .
“Ahh,” my simulated self says. “Oooh.” “Oh, fuck.” “Oh, FUCK!” My whole body goes tense and KarenD correctly perceives a cause for alarm.
“What’s the matter, baby? Baby? Are you ok?”
“It’s nothing.” Through clenched teeth, an obvious lie.
My simulated pleasure has failed utterly, the pain from my foot cramping crashing everything. Everything. Everything, that is, but my will to keep working. Though they can barely move, my increasingly unresponsive typing toes are assailed by a torrent of motor commands. My frontal lobes are tweaked to create a new simulation of myself to manage any potential distractor non-task events. My primary consciousness is buffered against distraction by an infinite army of potential false-selves. The pain pops each dispatched simulated self like a soap bubble but as each one collapses another is sent in its stead. Trying to keep any kind of meaningful track of the actual situation is like trying to keep an eye on only my nine-hundred-and-ninety-ninth reflection while I juggle torches on a unicycle in a hall of mirrors.
My body is totally rigid as KarenD works her hands all over me, tracing the gradient of tension to its source. She tries to press her thumbs into the rocks in my calves. Tries to bend my iron ankles. “Oh, baby,” she says as she starts unlacing my shoes. Tears flow as I try to hold my shoes on by force of will alone.
I was working. I was working on. . .
KarenD’s on the phone. She’s off. “They’re on their way. It’s ok, baby.” Jebus. A fucking ambulance.
The hall of mirrors inverts. Becomes a pit. I fall.
3.2. VEQ = Vileness and Evilness Quotient
Basic Precept of Deicidal Reflexological Fundamentalism
# 5 of 10:
Let be known as â€œSuperDuperUltraEvil Blasphemerâ€ any who suggests that the importance invested in the 10 basic precepts of Deicidal Reflexological Fundamentalism apparently contradicts the claim made in precept 2 about the first and final truths being wholly contained in the 59 propositions of Meditations on the Ecstatic Exteriority of the Particularated Ego.
Basic Precept of Deicidal Reflexological Fundamentalism
# 6 of 10:
Let be known as â€œVile and Evilâ€ any who would add to or subtract from the 59 propositions of Meditations on the Ecstatic Exteriority of the Particularated Ego and/or the 10 Basic Precepts of Deicidal Reflexological Fundamentalism. Let it be known that emendations, annotations, and illustrations all count toward your VEQ = Vileness and Evilness Quotient.
3.3. Terror Alert
ShoeComputer owner. An increasingly high-risk lifestyle. Terrorist acts of the Deicidal Reflexological Fundamentalists. DeRFs. The DeRFs believe. Ill health arises from ShoeComputer usage. The foot/computer interface constitutes a noxious stimulus to the vital reflexes of the feet.
The DeRFs believe. Everyone’s souls will.
Everyone’s souls will become hooked up into one big soul, sole-soul, group-mind, hive-mind. God-on-Earth. The DeRFs have killed. The DeRFs have killed God. Several times already. The DeRFs have killed and the DeRFs believe. This group-mind over-soul will be the resurrection of an abomination.
The DeRFs believe that the last resurrection of the abomination occurred. Occurred when canibalism, especially brain-eating, was popular. The DeRFs believe. According to the DeRFs, memories are passed on planaria-style if you eat someone’s brain. Eat a sufficient number of brains, and you be come a god-like being. Eat the brains of a bunch of proto-gods, and you jerk yourself up onto an even higher rung of the cosmic ladder.
Become God of the MongsterZ: Collect Them All.
I will. The DeRFs believe.
The primary holy scripture of all Deicidal Reflexological Fundamentalists is Meditations on the Ecstatic Exteriority of the Particularated Ego.
The DeRFs blew a chunk. Out of the Empire State Building. 34th Street and 5th Ave. City authorities voted on a nanotech solution to repair the damage. Self-replicating concrete depositors and steel secreting mecha-zoans were supposed to re-grow. The damaged portions of the sky-scraper. But in a mild gray-goo scenario, the replication-termination protocols imprinted into each nanoassembler were ignored. Giving rise to a concrete cancer. The oblate spheroid protruding from the side of the building is a tumor with a diameter about one quarter of the height of the building. The DeRFs hacked the nanotech. After the tumor’s expansion finally halted, its outer surface rearranged itself into the shapes of giant glowing red letters facing the Hudson River. From the New Jersey banks across the river from MidTown, you can see, if not read, most of the 59 propositions of Meditations On The Ecstatic Exteriority of the Particularated Ego.
3.4. Crap from Friends and Associates
To: Behavior Girl
Fr: The Solipsist
Cc: Slaughterhouse Pete, Slaughterhouse Paul, Dr. Smax, KarenB, KarenC, KarenD, Buck Nood, Snak Dugbeets
Subject: I am going to eat your brain.
Old lab-lore has it that planaria flat worms can be trained to run t-mazes. They learn that a nutrient is at the first left at the end of the hall.
I am going to eat your brain.
Chop up the learned worms and feed ‘em to some novices. Memory is ingestible: the little fuckers now know what their meals memorized.
Are you paying attention? I am going to eat your brain.
If memories survive the blender and the gullet, I’m thinking that more than a few of your mad skillz will too.
I am going to eat your brain.
Some say memories can be encoded in mitochondrial DNA. Your knowledge goes deep into your tissues. It will survive a thorough mincing. It waits for me. And I will eat.
Did I mention the part about your brain?
I get a lot of crap email from people I know. Does it count as spam if you know the person? It sure fucking does.
- What is Slaughterhouse Pete working on? Have sufficient clues been given?
- The question of questions recurrently recurs in the â€œInfinite Willâ€ story arc. To wit, the title of this episode is itself a question. What, if any, is the relation between willing and questioning?
- Who is Behavior Girl? Any connection between her and any of the Karens? And Snak Dugbeets? Come on: â€œSnak Dugbeetsâ€? I worship Snak Dugbeets. Comments? Questions?
Recommended further reading:
Snak Dugbeets Trivia: Snack Dugbeets’ first appearance was in “blink-per-minute-ratios.”
Next Episode: Interrogations